FartyBumBumGuff

Not had a fire for years, last had a fire on the beach on the yorkshire coast 20 years ago. There were cliffs behind us and to the left and right, the curve of the cliffs meant you couldn't see the sea when the tide was out. It was a few miles up the road from the main touristy busy beach, nobody around. There was a winding path going back up the tree lined cliffs, lots of dry firewood on the ground. I found a fat hollow tree stump washed up on the beach. It had the remains of a single branch coming out of the side, I sat it next to our fire with the branch in the fire, burned it away to the stump and kept carving into it until there was a hole in the stump where the branch used to be. I trained the fire up through the stump and eventually the stump became the fire. The air came through the hole in the side and the fire out of the top. Burned from the inside out until it was all ash, it burned for hours into the night.

I'm not playing solo against a team of two gold dickheads armed to the teeth who are communicating and co ordinating their attacks against me, probably cheating too because they never miss a shot using guns that should be spraying all over the place, any backup I call lasts about 30 seconds before they quit and when I give up they run me over as soon as I spawn, constantly, when I choose a different spawn point I see them on the map do a 180 turn and head to my new location. I get no points or kills for a ten minute plus mission, get shot about 30 times. I quit and reload APB third time it put me solo against the same team, I'll wait a bit and abandon mission next time.

I don't know what Artstation is. You can modify the look of weapons in this game with weapon skins which you buy from contacts in the social district, there are variations of weapons with different stocks, (the arse end of the gun) which would affect stability in other games but it doesn't seem to show an increase in the stats so I think they are just different cosmetic designs for this game, they will have the gun name then another word after it like NTEC wanky stock. I think you can also change the colour of your gun if you click on it. Then there are guns that cost thousands of JT to rent for 10 days, they have preset mods fitted and shoot you dead in 1/10th of a second from any distance, often before you can fire a single shot in their general direction. It would take me a month at least to earn the JT to rent a gun for 10 days so I've never bothered. Characters and cars you can create your own symbols in the designer section using pre set shapes and designs as a base, there are effects like fade and stuff, you can stretch a design over the whole car and add a fade maybe, play with layers and opacity. That's all I know, apart from monkeys were created by god to entertain us, that's all we know.

I parked up next to my favourite bush for a rest but when I looked back I'd been kicked off again, couldn't be bothered anymore after that, I was too drunk to ride the lag by that stage, I mean car is harder than normal to drive when it wants to drive itself constantly.

It hardly ever works when I try to abandon mission it doesn't do anything 90% of the time.

you can customise the weapons performance with mods.

I couldn't get the internet to work, it was on it said but wouldn't load the log in page, wouldn't even try. I had to use a shit laptop which took half an hour to load, couldn't get onto discord, said my phone number was invalid, game finally loads, my car freezes and drives itself more than I can drive it, I give up and get drunk instead. Maybe I'll get another wednesday off work in year or two, or five.

Weapon skins are different designs for the weapons.

No but that sounds good, fire toasted toast tastes the best. I snap a twig off a tree and stick slices of bread on the end if I have fire and bread.

I'll come check out the event on wednesday, I finish work early. I'll leave my Shitstained cars in the garage, people seem to get offended by them for some reason, images get deleted by moderaters everywhere I post. it's just a cartoon arse with some cartoon shit flying out of it. I do have some cars without shit all over them, much more screenshot friendly. I have a new Crim Cab Boss Cab edition, the Broadwing I think it is, the bigger taxi, I also have a new vegas 4x4 without shit all over it but I haven't finished it yet.

It certainly is a strange one, I don't think he's trying to sell it, just messing about, I had to talk him into posting it on youtube. Next project is to write a short piece called CrackVan to the tune of Plantman then make a video of the CrackVan driving around. I wrote a few lines of a song myself called "Taste the sweat from my balls" just to pass the time Taste the sweat from ma balls BALLS Taste the sweat from ma balls BALLS That sticky sweat based paste on ya face That's the sweat from ma balls BALLS I don't have any more lyrics or any music for it so I don't mind if you use it and expand it.

Hello. What do you think about the bread, toast,bread,toast? I think it goes dough,bake,bread,toast. Though the bread I get is sometimes very wide batch loaf, half of it sticks out of the toaster so I have to turn the slices over and indeed toast it twice, unless I want a half toasted slice.

Nice hambliance, maybe write ambulance backwards on the front of the vehicle so cars can see it in their mirror and move out the way, if you have any layers left, I always run out of room. I wrote I shit myself backwards on the front of my vegas for the same reason. Don't want to be stuck in traffic with cacky pants

I don't understand half of what you said but the games barely playable for me as it is, if I had to play on NA server there would be a 30 second delay every time I pressed a button.

It's like arguing with stupid, you can't argue with stupid. "Debating creationists on the topic of evolution is rather like trying to play chess with a pigeon; it knocks the pieces over, craps on the board, and flies back to its flock to claim victory." - Scott D. Weitzenhoffer

Nice production, something my friend made just messing around, still learning

Griefing is when you drive around ramming people? I drift around a corner and collide with another car, accident, we didn't see each other but the weirdo kept following me and trying to ram me some more. I was on mission, they followed me to an area infested with my team mates and then joined the opposition, immediately they were shot by everyone from every angle. They spawned and called backup, got a green T man. They had a gold non lethal shotgun that would two shot stun me even at range but at least their T man was easy to shoot. I played several missions against them as I was getting 30JT a mission instead of 3 or 6 for some reason. I have had random dickheads ramming me constantly when on mission and trying to get to an objective, it can be mildly irritating. Sometimes my car embarrasses me by deciding to grief, like it'll freeze then drive itself into stuff, I'm just trying to get down the road but it's driving in circles smashing into stuff, makes me look deranged.

Shitinhell, the EU server, there's usually a full financial district, sometimes two, a couple with about 10 players on each side and a half full and almost empty waterfront at about 11pm. There's more players a few hours earlier. Last night there was a full waterfront as well, I haven't seen that for a long time, maybe someone was playing some event or steaming online or whatever. I counted over 200 players but 30 were just bumming around in social district.

I thought so, it's hard to do though because it's bog standard, no upgrade slots, it takes like ten seconds to fire it and if they are far away the rocket takes a while to reach them, they can easily walk out of the way. I did manage to kill a very good gold player who was stopping us getting to the objective by sneaking down an alleyway to get closer. I was watching the timer go down hoping it'll fire before he reached cover but he disappeared, I fired it after him anyway and got him. I wonder if he decided to peak around the corner and ate it? I shot two bronze one after the other and they didn't even see me, I was up high guarding the objective. When the blast only killed one I was surprised the second didn't look up. I remember when I started how annoying car surfing rocket launchers were and I don't really enjoy blowing up bronze folk, golds are fair game because they outgun me usually with all their fancy pants weapons.

I finished a contact and got a daily task of blow up some enemies with explosive gunz. I had fun car surfing and blowing cops up with a rocket launcher but it didn't count towards the daily task. So what are explosive guns? If it's not the rocket launcher then the only one that goes boom I can think of is the is the grenade launcher, I can't think of any more guns that go boom so it should say blow them up with the explosive gun. Merged. OK apparently rocket launcher counts as an explosive weapon but i got like 5 kills and still it said 0/10 or whatever for the daily task

I've had that before when trying to connect to steam but it's only been temporary. I thought it was because my internet signal was too weak and almost dropping out. I just restart the computer and try a few more times, only once it didn't work until the next day.

Herding pedestrians. Find a busy crossroads for a constant supply of NPCs. There will be two directions they can run off in after you mug them so block one direction with your vehicle and the other with a stolen vehicle. Sometimes you might have to go slightly out of your mugging zone to let the game reload another group of NPCs as they disappear after a while. In financial a good place is near the gas station and multi storey car park. The point in the picture where my car is, I've started putting the stolen one there so I can go a bit further in that direction without the stolen car (which in the picture is parked to the left offscreen) disappearing. When my mugging zone empties I just go a bit further towards the fence and when I come back there's a fresh group or two crossing the road into my trap. Speed mugging, there's always somebody to mug right next to you or just a few steps away In waterfront I park one vehicle on the steps at the bottom of this road and the other just before the vehicle spawn zone in front of a doorway that the NPCs disappear into sometimes. They walk down this road then cross over into the mugging zone, when they stop appearing there's plenty to get on the left or right of the zone until more turn up. You don't want any cars holding up the traffic, it needs to flow otherwise the NPCs stop turning up.

A truly noble sentiment, all hail the cowhorse. May you succeed in your endeavours. Showing my appreciation with this old picture of a baby hand chewer nom nom nom

I can't comment on performance or other technical things as long as I play on shit wifi that keeps almost losing connection. Game ran like shit last night, couldn't do missions, every ten seconds screen says connection problems disconnecting, though the internet was fine, car teleports and drives itself, I freeze to the floor constantly, can't even shoot an NPC. I got some JT for delivering vehicles and managed to mug a few folks to level up but it was hard work especially when some time wasting prick comes and witnesses me then refuses to take his $60 back, just sits there like I'm going to try to come take it back. I explained on the chat I'm constantly freezing and teleporting I can't shoot shit right now but knob head just sits there wasting five minutes of both of our time. I switched the game off second time it happened.

I can't comment on performance or other technical things as long as I play on shit wifi that keeps almost losing connection.