Jump to content

FartyBumBumGuff

Members
  • Content Count

    384
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by FartyBumBumGuff

  1. I might start using it, I like running fast, I use fragile a lot of the time. I like to run up on them and surprise them. Sometimes I even manage to shoot them.
  2. I am level 245, I play on wifi, it takes me at least 2 seconds of continuous fire to kill anyone and they can kill me in 0.2 seconds. I never intentionally throw missions, it was the final stage where both teams have a certain amount of lives and I would have been helping the opposition just turning up to get shot dead. People rarely die when I shoot the shit out of them, they can killl me though in the blink of an eye, literally the time it takes me to fire two shots out of the 30 it takes to kill anyone.
  3. They change the NPC's clothes all the time. I remember when black leather jacket man got pink bits on his jacket, sometimes they have silly hair, the man wearing a vest once appeared with a tie as well as a stupid hairstyle for a while. Wife beater vest and a businessman's tie with a hairstyle that made his head look like it was on backwards from a distance.
  4. I was in the last round of a mission, getting no kills or points but i'd done my daily activity so selected abandon mission and it said you can't abandon opposed missions so I just went AFK until it was over.
  5. Sending horseman virtual tea and biscuits and a warm blankeet, it'll soon be summer and we'll be sweating us feminine features off.
  6. Though spring officially starts on the 20th of March in the Northern Hemisphere, the season first appears in the southernmost counties of Britain at the very beginning of March and slowly moves North, always travelling at walking speed. It gets to the north of Scotland in a few weeks. Today I saw bees, huge fat bees. Trees are blossoming, the days are getting longer and the nights shorter.
  7. I know, the game would always work with a stable connection, which I don't have but the game still seems to run smoothest for me after maintenance, I actually had a strong internet connection last night and didn't lose it once but it was as almost as bad as that time I got kicked out for packet loss. I remember last tuesday saying to my friend after giving up trying to even mug anyone it'll be better tomorrow after maintenance. Last night again I gave up on missions because I couldn't drive the car without it driving itself into things constantly, the day before it was bad but I could still point the car where I wanted it to go.
  8. Game barely runs tuesday night before maintenance, almost impossible to drive my car or shoot anyone, It's usually working better on wednesday night after maintenance.
  9. I have read this ten times but I still don't understand it, technical jargon just doesn't compute with this simpleton. When I click on all my different outfits, it takes at least 30 seconds to change the picture. It would take ages to find the right one so I named them with different titles so mugger is the trampy one, veteran the mission one, king of the dead halloween one. If I click on all of them then run off down the street he'll cycle through each outfit every ten seconds. I lag when shooting at everyone, even those clones in default clothes that haven't been customised but some will cause the screen to freeze until I'm dead, I often won't see what killed me.
  10. Warm in the sun, cold in the shade, freezing at night. The air is still cold and with no clouds it soon cools down as it gets dark.
  11. Good, I've had two days off work and the weather has been nice. After 4 months of cold and wet it's nice to have some sunny and warm.
  12. I can't use cover half the time anyway, I keep teleporting out of it and getting shot. I try to stand behind a tree, he teleports to the left of it, I move back behind it and teleport to the right of it then die.
  13. I'd done missions for the day, was going home soon so was just mugging to get the last few hundred points to level up when I was witnessed and shot, shot dead then the APB appears on the screen after I've been shot, at least give me a chance to get to my car for a chase or to fire a single shot, it never does, I die then they APB me. As my character crumples to the ground I see the gurning vomit splattered face of my Sungnyemun Moirai, (the one with the sharting man on the side that gets deleted by moderators everywhere i post it) except I was driving my vegas. I gave the man a free car at some point and he's shooting me for $2000 now, it wouldn't have bothered me but if he'd left me alone I'd have got to level 10, still happy to see one of my SHITSTORM customs vehicles driving about. He ignored me though when I tried to chat. Maybe the car was sold and he has no idea It was I who painted it so beautifully offensively.
  14. I had a good 1 on 1 match, wasn't just getting shot dead, I managed to shoot them too. The rockets were firing when the countdown had finished like they are supposed to instead of randomly between 1 and 2 seconds so I was able to aim them properly and not have them go off when still in cover, nobody was teleporting and being bulletproof so my pistol was killing them too. They were guarding well and killing me a lot too but I was managing to get the objectives done eventually, the first one in the last few seconds. I got to the last stage and the game booted me off the server. Maybe I briefly lost connection, I don't know.
  15. I have never used one, they were such rare mission rewards I decided to save them up until I know what to do with them or where to use them, still never used one. Never get out of the car. -Skeeter, interstate 76.
  16. I forgot Rum. Rum Rum, leaky bum. It's dangerous stuff. I drank 3\4 of a bottle of mount gay rum, it was smooth and easy to drink, went down in no time, so did I. I was sober until I stood up, fell over and had trouble standing up.
  17. Hi hey, hey ho, eh up, what's up? Lets sup, beer or wine, it's all mine, whisky, vodka, cognac, gin, then I hug the porcelain. Then we have some more wine and go out to fine dine, sweaty kebab, really nice, I know a place for curry and lice.
  18. It's 50/50 in the results. I don't care enough to vote either way, it does sound like a good idea, I think. I am really shit with names, I remember a few but a lot are just letters or numbers or a mix of both, many just don't stand out enough. If you have a unique name or a funny one that made me laugh I wouldn't forget you but I wouldn't know if I've come across xp47wy56a before, it could have been gm8956b, I might have seen AGKR before or was it QTLGB? Many people seem to know me but I don't remember them. You don't forget a man called FartyBumBumGuff who shits himself all the time but you can easily forget one of the many dressed as prostitutes or all in black riot fear with names like 3WO47BTEIWIER7
  19. When I start the game it doesn't give me a choice of server. It logs into steam, at least when it's not giving error messages like this account is in use by another client 10004 or the game may be down for maintenance 8 something or whatever. Then it retrieves characters FartyBumBumGuff or The Abominator, fat useless waster, next to them it says Citadel but I can't change that so I select Guff and off I go, if the internet doesn't decide to suddenly switch itself off. My car was undriveable last night, it drove itself into stuff constantly, no such thing as slight direction change, no it wants to full on 90 degree turn every time you tap the keys. Even when I just coasted along it accelerated away wildly and randomly tried to steer everywhere. Missions were impossible, I got no points, at least I got some JT for radar jamming, car spawning and completing a mission because I couldn't shoot anyone or even drive to an objective most of the time, the car even suicided me at one point, it drove itself into a parked car and instantly blew up, no setting on fire, just boom. Merged. I was thinking using the epinny things with kevlar so it isn't so slow but only 5 seconds of not being slow per minute would still leave me slow most of the time, satchel charge sounds fun for laying traps, I have brick for the car so could send my car at the enemy and detonate it.
  20. The ones I understand sound like good ideas, the others probably are too. I have never used epinephrine, if you used it with fragile would you be able to run at silly speed? I think making the star do a bit more damage would help new players, it might give them a chance to shoot someone before they die.
  21. @Patryk That's not true. He got injured a month before with a new squit suit. Two weeks before arnolds the injury happened again when practicing dumbell. The injury is to the IT band and is minor Highlighted reply Wulla Balloo 9 hours ago Do squit suits prevent the squits? Never doubt a fart again, wear a squit suit. I'm guessing the squit suit keeps the bum cheeks squeezed tight so it's harder to follow through when plagued with volatile gas which could escalate to shart level at any given moment. Show less2 Why did I eat spiced baked beans full of extra hot kashmiri chilli powder, cayenne pepper, chipotle sauce, habanero sauce and whatever else is in the cupboard (I'm just throwing spices into the pan) with a mountain of cheese on top late at night after drinking a bottle of wine and some cider. I got up this afternoon and within 5 minutes my guts felt like they wanted to migrate south very fast. I immediately remembered the squit suit somebody was talking about yesterday and was wondering where I could get one.
  22. I can ping right up to over 300 whenever anyone comes near me, it's never a stable number, changes almost too fast to read the numbers. Makes it almost impossible to get anything but kill assists on missions. Sometimes all 28 bullets of my machine pistol into someones back at close range doesn't kill them, I have to reload and shoot them nearly 28 times more
  23. You need a break, disappear for a while. I haven't had a break in over 10 years now, I'm planning to go and find that beach again this summer, I hope it's still as quiet as it was all those years ago.
  24. Weapon skins, symbols, designs, the preset designs you unlock are called primitives.
×
×
  • Create New...