FartyBumBumGuff

As quick as he appeared.

Where else can we post random cockwaffle.

I have the most famous van as I've given away like 30 of the buggers. It's the one wit' big arse on t' back

I ploughed my car through a pedestrian, blood everywhere, he didn't flinch, carried on walking. I followed, trying to mug him to steal the secret of his invincibility but he disappeared. Turns out he'd just teleported down the street, when I caught up with him he'd stopped walking through people and become solid again.

They must have meant the contact level. I gave somebody a nitrous 3 and they gave me a big pink gun which tags people with hearts

We should all help new players to counter the bad experiences where they just get stomped by experts with better weapons. Why all the hate in chat? Does insulting new players makes these game gods feel like big men? I've been called noob so many times, is it supposed to be an insult? I gave someone kevlar 3 implants yesterday and along with someone else let a new player shoot us 30 times. They went from level 1 to 7 in one match.

That was fun to watch and even listen to, so many youtube videos shit in my ears but not this one. Squeaky voiced matt scott giving it legs.

Hitch a ride around town on an NPC car by grabbing a heavy object and squatting on the back. They wont drive while you are stood on the roof, you have to go right to the back of the car so you are a step or two from falling off and crouch, the car will then drive. I landed on an NPC from a great height and killed them flat, I didn't know you could do that, could you kill an opponent flat by jumping on them from a great height?

The first god had in his garden From the back looked like a household pet When it twirled round was revealed to be A three-legged black-grey hog

I suspect it's the unstable internet on my end. I'm using wifi, if we get a storm sometimes I can't even get a signal.

Not really, you don't have to pay much attention to what you are doing. Have a drink, smoke and engage in philosophical conversation. My friends been chewing my ear off with quantum biology ever since I explained to him how warm water freezes quicker than cold.

I laughed at the great god Pan. I irritated some high level role playing saddos who were picking on low level crims. I took my own cash back but the inexperienced looter did not. He was pleading with them to leave him alone, they were ramming his van. I whispered for him to take the cash back then I drove over to the bridge and rammed piggys car while he was waiting to snipe them. Distracted him long enough for them to take the cash back. After that I went and had a smoke break, poured myself another whisky and sat back watching them ram me over and over again until they managed to kill me and take the one or two loot items I hadn't taken back to the contact. Then they gloated about it as if I was arsed about a few hundred when I have 10.5 million. Pair of gold feminine features.

It was easier back then as there were more districts so there was always an empty one. I didn't worry so much about taking it back, I'd level up first. Also when they did turn up they couldn't kill you before it said APB on the screen, you had chance to get into your car and drive away, not be killed in 0.01 sec. I got into my car last night after APB but they blew up my car from their moving vehicle in about 4 shots and about half a second, all for less than $1000. Once took over $220,000 back to the contact but now you wont get to 50,000 before someone shows up to nick it. I always take it back now at around 20 to 30,000 if I'm ram raiding.

There will eventually come a day when the internet is stable and I can shoot everything, anywhere, anytime. Until then I can level up by mugging and looting. Sometimes the cops are irritating and wont let you mug barely two people, I think OK you keep the $50 I'll just quit out and come back later. Have a break then go back in and go mugging somewhere hidden. I know a couple of places where the cops don't come, at least I've never been APB'd there. I mugged my way to over 20,000 without picking anything up and taking it to the contact, I just wanted to get to the next level for a new car to paint, then I ran through the back streets, down alleyways to the launderer and dropped it off.

That would work if it's full of AFK and not high level players who kill me before I can fire a single shot. I tried to shoot an NPC seven times, he just walked along as if nothing was happening. I thought is he one of those ghost folk I can't mug who aren't really there, they walk through things and disappear or teleport elsewhere. I shot him an 8th time, that one worked but it just took me 5 seconds to kill an NPC. Unstable internet causes my shots not to register a lot of the time, I used to think people were cheating because they could just stand there and they wouldn't die no matter how much I shot them. If I'm looting and someone APB's me, I'll often be dead before I see a shot fired or even dead before APB appears on the screen, I'd have no chance to kill them even if I could get a shot off it might do no damage at all.

I have issue with extra cargo mod. Cargo 1 doesn't do fuck all, cargo 2 lets me put one extra medium item in the van. Large loot items take up the space of two medium yet with cargo 3 I can put two more medium in the van but not a large. I was expecting to fit 6 large with cargo 3

It's kind of hit and miss making truck ramps, most of the time the truck doesn't sit right and you just smash into it. Sometimes it sits just right, I did a huge backflip, hit it perfectly straight, went higher than the buildings and landed on wheels. Also landed on a high roof but it was out of bounds.

I'd settle for a bacon wig

I used to think people were cheating because nothing happened when I shot the crap out of them, turns out it's the unstable internet causing the framerate and everything else to go crazy flying up and down every second. I found a billboard, sprayed it and then tried to shoot an NPC seven times, he just walked along as if nothing was happening. I thought is he one of those ghost folk I can't mug who aren't really there, they walk through things and disappear or teleport elsewhere. I shot him an 8th time, that one worked but it just took me 5 seconds to kill an NPC so how am I supposed to kill anyone in missions unless they stand still for ten seconds. Sometimes I meet people who are willing to stand still for me to shoot them, they must get bored while waiting.

This poor cat would like a pork hat

I haven't bothered renting any weapons yet as I assumed you can only get a free trial once and I can't be bothered playing missions when my framerate is so crazy unstable I can't shoot anyone, they would have to stand still for ten seconds. I used to think the starter weapons were useless and everyone had ridiculous guns or they were bulletproof cheaters. I need to save joker points for a car, the last mission I did rewarded me 3 joker points and I need several thousand.

I found out how to test it. It was bouncing between 40 and 60 fps every couple of seconds in an almost empty district with two other players, it was constantly going up and down. Ping was about 30 but jumped up to 100 when somebody else drove by and that was when the car was not steering itself and mini teleporting.

I'd still be playing the event if it let us pledge to our contacts. It gave a decent amount of experience points per match but for nothing.

A couple of days ago I joined in with a group of people flying cars over buildings in waterfront using a big blue truck pushed up a ramp and over the other side so it leans. Jumping onto and over a really high roof, highest jumps I've seen. Last night I got a truck and pushed it up the ramp a few times but it never leaned the same. I don't know how they were doing it, I couldn't make a ramp out of it and was doing the same as they were, pushing truck up and over ramp. Does anyone know how to make a truck ramp?

What do the pros use to make them bulletproof? I die before I even see them shooting without kevlar.