Top Tier Recommendations [Somewhat Satire]

[Jama 10]

Hello, here are my A+ recommendations!

Enjoy!

 

1. Force first letter capitalization for every single player name, especially if the name is easily found in the Dictionary.
2. Force all players with low-fi and elevator tier themes into Walking mode, no need to sprint when you're that chill and ez going.
3. increase the magazine size of the Colby .45 to 32 bullets +10% damage increase, it's currently VERY underutilized.
4. If any low latency player complains about hit-reg, force their connection through Afghanistan, so at least it makes sense for them to complain.
5. Bring back jump shooting with the Scout, if you have no hands and can't JUMP + RMB + LMB, you shouldn't be doing it anyway.
6. Anyone that Crouch + Lean's out in the open should have their view permanently rotated 45 degrees, should be more comfortable that way.
7. JG Shotgun should have it's range decreased to 5m, it's only competent at that range anyway.
8. Secretly decrease the damage of semi-auto weapons when a player uses macros, just enough to make them confused and angry.
9. Make the rocket sound for the AAEPD Volcano 5x louder, currently it can only be heard 4 blocks away.
10. Remove all out-of-bounds timers and despawn barriers, if a dump truck launches my car onto a roof, boy am I gonna use it.

 

I'm very open to suggestions.

[Rade 54]

11. Add an audible voice alert when your cross hair goes red when aiming at opponents.

[BlatMan 711]

1b. Change font so capital "I" and lower case "l" appear different, such as Comic Sans.

9b. Make Volcano windup 5x louder and heard from 500M.

 

#4 Sounds like it would be an improvement. I rather have stable higher ping that inconsistent low ping. It would negate the need for a VPN.

 

#7 But then Lilly will be right about the Thumper. We can't have that!

 

#8 Not needed. Shooting too fast already causes ghost shots.

[ColorBauss 74]

Increase rendering range to 150m and increase all weapons range by 1.5x

[Noob_Guardian 418]

#12 Let players sprint and jump with medium items. It's not like people don't exploit the shit out of the removed animation anyways. (the fact it's remained as is for so long astounds me)

 

#13. Re-add trollface emoji to forums

Edited March 23, 2023 by Noob_Guardian

[Mitne 724]

#14. Get rid of premium so leveling up contacts get even more tedious. Boy, I do love challenge of "when I finally level up, I'm so fed up with this game I'm gonna ragequit any moment.".

 

Don't do that though. Game is unplayable as it is already.

Edited March 23, 2023 by Mitne

[Y2Venom 219]

#15 implemention of sonic pulse device for levels 240+ to prevent lesser teams car's from working and getting to destination first.

[BlatMan 711]

21 hours ago, Y2Venom said:

#15 implemention of sonic pulse device for levels 240+ to prevent lesser teams car's from working and getting to destination first.

* excludes Macchina Calabria

[Yapopal 169]

Add inter-district matchmaking. The game isn't crappy enough yet.

[Uhtdred 238]

disable anticheat because there are no cheaters anyways



 

Edited March 28, 2023 by Uhtdred

[Jinsen 11]

sounds like a silver made this post

[Jama 10]

On 3/29/2023 at 8:06 PM, Jinsen said:

sounds like a silver made this post

sounds like you tick some of the boxes

[Jinsen 11]

On 4/1/2023 at 12:22 AM, Jama said:

sounds like you tick some of the boxes

I thought it was somewhat satire, i guess i ticked you off