Feeling love for someone you should hate?

[XYXYXYXYX 33]

So about 2 months ago I broke up with a guy I was with for 6 months but I spent a little over a year before that trying to get into his heart. I was so crazy about him, he was the best I've ever met but when I met him he had just finished coming out of a long relationship that ended really bad and seemed to have caused him to sign off love for a whole year. I spent all of that time though from start to finish doing whatever I could for him. I sacrificed sleep, money, tears, and much more for him.

But to make a long story short the person I thought he was, was just that - my thoughts. I found this out towards our last month, when he showed me his true character. He never trusted me nor did he think my love for him was real, just these two things alone destroyed me. Because I had worked so hard to show him the opposite but it didn't matter, none of my sacrifices to him did. When I asked him why did he accept to being my BF he told me that it was just a test that I failed from various things but what sealed my "death" was when I blew up at him for disrespecting me during the start to our last month together.

We broke up for a short bit before he came back like 4-5 days after asking me for a chance but I don't know why I agreed while knowing what I did because in the end it was just him trying to use me for something I had promised to do for him a few months before shit went south. I cursed my patootie off at him before leaving for good. At first I handled our split pretty well considering all that I had found out but I still had a few nights where I just couldn't sleep as he was stuck on my mind.

That ended though recently when a friend told me that he's with someone new already. I spent so much wasted time and effort and then some nice lady pops up into his life and he falls for her in a near instant compared to my yearlong struggle. I hate saying this but it has teared me apart, I've completely changed from who I was in just 2 weeks and I hate it. Why am I feeling like this about someone I should hate, I've had trouble staying asleep I wake up in the middle of nights now from dreams about him being with someone else. I wake up with my chest tight and hurting while feeling a mix of sadness and anger. My days are filled with thoughts of him and doubts about myself, was i the problem? and the like..

I don't feel comfortable talking to my friends or family about this so what better place than a games forum's off topic to seek help amiright?
 

[NotZombieBiscuit 3146]

You opened yourself up emotionally instead of walling yourself and got hurt because of it. Silly.

[vsb 6171]

sounds like you goofed

never show your cards

[AsgerLund 1271]

You made your relationsship your personal project, and now that your personal project failed, you hover in a state of both blaming yourself and wanting your personal project to still succeed.

In time you will appreciate that you got out of it. And if you stop looking at relationships as your own personal projects, you’ll also be able to get out of them sooner when they start going South on a one way street.

Just a quick shallow observation based on your side of the story.

 

[Excalibur! 207]

I found this thread gay.

Oh, and emotions are for weak humans.

[Aeronaut 647]

i'm just going to assume you're a good person.

just know that a lot of people have experienced what you have gone through. it's definitely not easy.
the intensity and length of the hurt will depend on what sort of person you are and the cause of the heartbreak. time does heal, but there are steps you can take to potentially help you get past it faster.

some good ideas are to delete pictures, contact information, and similar things of that person. 
try and occupy your mind. pick up a new hobby, go volunteering, or go out with friends if that's your thing.

breakups are inevitable, even if you do "all the right things".

you feel the way you feel because you just don't expect someone to treat you like that when all you did was offer your affection and love (i assume).
the feeling of being wronged and blindsided is probably one of the worst feelings imaginable.

but on the brightside, you now know that they're a complete waste of your time.
don't close yourself off from the world because you were wronged by one person. look forward to the thought that you're potentially able to meet someone better that's actually deserving of you.

good luck.

[Eisena 86]

These forums are the best place to show how you truly feel about things.
Someone please join the fun, I feel lonely doing this by myself..

[Aeronaut 647]

don't die. no respawns.

[XYXYXYXYX 33]

I just wanna thank those that already did or may take the time to give their advice I will take it all to mind. Especially big thanks tho to Aero and Asger.

[iodyne_ 127]

6 hours ago, Aeronaut said:

i'm just going to assume you're a good person.

just know that a lot of people have experienced what you have gone through. it's definitely not easy.
the intensity and length of the hurt will depend on what sort of person you are and the cause of the heartbreak. time does heal, but there are steps you can take to potentially help you get past it faster.

some good ideas are to delete pictures, contact information, and similar things of that person. 
try and occupy your mind. pick up a new hobby, go volunteering, or go out with friends if that's your thing.

breakups are inevitable, even if you do "all the right things".

you feel the way you feel because you just don't expect someone to treat you like that when all you did was offer your affection and love (i assume).
the feeling of being wronged and blindsided is probably one of the worst feelings imaginable.

but on the brightside, you now know that they're a complete waste of your time.
don't close yourself off from the world because you were wronged by one person. look forward to the thought that you're potentially able to meet someone better that's actually deserving of you.

good luck.

On the contrary, do not DO NOT delete any information, conversations, pictures, etc you have. You need these in case the person decides to be spiteful or tries to hurt you or blackmail you at some point in the future. From the sound of it, I wouldn't put it past the guy. Just be safe and keep everything in case you need it.

[AsgerLund 1271]

5 hours ago, XYXYXYXYX said:

I just wanna thank those that already did or may take the time to give their advice I will take it all to mind. Especially big thanks tho to Aero and Asger.

If you want to know shit about dumps, dumping, and/or dumplings - I’m your dood.

[Aeronaut 647]

5 hours ago, iodyne_ said:

On the contrary, do not DO NOT delete any information, conversations, pictures, etc you have. You need these in case the person decides to be spiteful or tries to hurt you or blackmail you at some point in the future. From the sound of it, I wouldn't put it past the guy. Just be safe and keep everything in case you need it.

oh shit i forgot about that part. didn't realize that they brought that up. big sorry.
 

4 hours ago, AsgerLund said:

9 hours ago, XYXYXYXYX said:

I just wanna thank those that already did or may take the time to give their advice I will take it all to mind. Especially big thanks tho to Aero and Asger.

If you want to know shit about dumps, dumping, and/or dumplings - I’m your dood.

did you just assume your own gender?

[NotZombieBiscuit 3146]

5 hours ago, iodyne_ said:

On the contrary, do not DO NOT delete any information, conversations, pictures, etc you have. You need these in case the person decides to be spiteful or tries to hurt you or blackmail you at some point in the future. From the sound of it, I wouldn't put it past the guy. Just be safe and keep everything in case you need it.

OOOF. I don't know whether to congratulate you on being right despite how terrible sounding it is.

Though I guess it depends a lot on the person and oneself if this was viable.

[AsgerLund 1271]

15 minutes ago, Aeronaut said:

  did you just assume your own gender?

I’m a man, and I have the hand size to prove it.

[Eisena 86]

Has he ever shown any form of kindness towards you?  Sounds like he has been using you from the very beginning.

People often say mean things when things fall apart, to make it easier for them. If he tells you that he doesn't care about you and/or that he has never loved you, he can move on immediately.
People always lie. But go through this a couple of times and it will be easier to determine if a guy is worth your time or not.
 

[XYXYXYXYX 33]

At first his words were kind but his actions often left me scratching my head a bit but I always just passed it off as him trying at the very least. He was never abusive towards me though, until our last month together like I said but there was never any physical abuse.

[Eisena 86]

Not many people stay in a relationship for the physical abuse.

[Aeronaut 647]

3 hours ago, Eisena said:

Not many people stay in a relationship for the physical abuse.

love or the feeling of wanting to be loved can cause people to do irrational things. 

[Eisena 86]

On 9/8/2018 at 8:55 PM, Aeronaut said:

On 9/8/2018 at 5:44 PM, Eisena said:

Not many people stay in a relationship for the physical abuse.

love or the feeling of wanting to be loved can cause people to do irrational things. 

I forgot what my train of thought was there.. But you are correct, the path of love is a tricky one.

[Szambi 85]

I wnt 2 b loved. Hug plox

[PingOVER9000 189]

Sometimes happen unfortunately, meeting people that are just inteterested for your things/ money etc..

-Don't change yourself, remain the same nice person you are, but bring with you this experience, and get stronger,  the true is this guy don't deserve you from the beginning.

-You are right, you didn't know really him,  remind these words next time for your relathionship/business, and  TAKE TIME before,  for knowing who is  near to you, and  you want entrust your heart, eheheh  unfortunately same you have to make for money/everything 

-Remind these words, "it's normal to have Doubts, we are human, we do not always understand if we are right or wrong, only the EVIL don't have doubts"

For what you told us, That guy doen't have any doubts from the beginning,  kick him from your heart and thoughts,  let him with people like him, he will get by himself what he deserves, again, again and again

Bye

Edited September 15, 2018 by PingOVER9000

[Eisena 86]

Some people are impossible to love.

[Aeronaut 647]

23 hours ago, Eisena said:

Some people are impossible to love.

hi

[NotZombieBiscuit 3146]

Never feel any emotions at all, especially towards others.

[Eisena 86]

On 9/17/2018 at 10:03 PM, Aeronaut said:

On 9/16/2018 at 10:21 PM, Eisena said:

Some people are impossible to love.

hi

This is the first time ever you've said that to me. I will remember this moment forever. ; -;

 

5 hours ago, ch4ncer said:

Just be grateful to your parents and thank them for raising a loving and caring person like yourself. I assume you're just a good person who hasn't been feminized ((yet)), given 90% of the western women are feminized these days, 50% of them being fat landwhales who play videogames and are edgy as fuсk, they'll be stocking up on cat food soon enough though lol. Just know your role in this life and be a rational woman.

I like feminine women. Feminized men are ok too, but that's a while different story.