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1 hour ago, FartyBumBumGuff said:

Cousin LeakyBumBumGuff will soon be making an appearance. I haven't finished making him pretty yet

and so shall my sister bullcalfwoman

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Cousin leaky has arrived, he's fucking hideous. Just like that Edward Shrewdon dirge of a song, he's fugly it's true, when I saw his face, twisted features all over the place, I vomited on my shoe. I have my own steam account and APB character now, rank 15 LeakyBumBumGuff. Did some synchronised dancing with Farty in the social district to celebrate.

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Posted (edited)

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Going to start designing new cop character soon, calling him AgentFlabbyTits, maybe, Name should be 15 letters long

Edited by FartyBumBumGuff

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Posted (edited)

Dangerous flying bastards by Wulla Balloo.

I'd just had a piss, took a step back and a huge hornet landed in the bog. If it had dropped a second earlier it would have landed on my head. I didn't flush it, enjoyed watching the bugger thrash about in me piss, then had another piss on it later while berating it's choice of resting place before flushing the bugger. I had never seen one so big, the usual hornets around here are not much bigger than a wasp but this thing was twice the size of anything I'd ever seen before. I'm sure it wasn't native, it was way too big, filled the bowl like a black and yellow turd. My friend had just come back from Sri Lanka, maybe it was a stowaway.

Edited by FartyBumBumGuff

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i want to strap a cannon to the top of my car so i can fire cannon balls at players

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9 hours ago, cowhorseman said:

i want to strap a cannon to the top of my car so i can fire cannon balls at players

Never get out of the car 

 

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                                                                                                                                    beans

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Cheesy beans with gravy and a pork pie on top.

Also the thong warrior returns. Crazy australians call fleep de flops thongs, turns out they make a great weapon. Could we get one in APB to use, it flies like brick but straight and true and can also be used CQC style to deliver an incapacitating slap around the mush.

 

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5 hours ago, LilyRain said:

Buff MattScott

he's fast hes strong and he does not die. what do you want? him to jump good?

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14 hours ago, cowhorseman said:

he's fast hes strong and he does not die. what do you want? him to jump good?

Maybe give him the power to melt?

 

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1 hour ago, FartyBumBumGuff said:

Maybe give him the power to melt?

 

was thinking more of this one

 

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20 hours ago, cowhorseman said:

he's fast hes strong and he does not die. what do you want? him to jump good?

Yes and to see him OSMAW from his exclusive Dev-Helicopter

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4 hours ago, RandomAPBplayer said:

hmm

so what kind of hotdogs do you like

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Posted (edited)
7 hours ago, RandomAPBplayer said:

hmm

 

3 hours ago, cowhorseman said:

so what kind of hotdogs do you like

And would you like beans and gravy or curry sauce with or without cheese with your hot dog?

Edited by FartyBumBumGuff

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2 hours ago, FartyBumBumGuff said:

 

And would you like beans and gravy or curry sauce with or without cheese with your hot dog?

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Posted (edited)

Langoustine man?

I am a meat magician, I made juicy burgers with 5% fat mince. First time I tried grated chilled butter, didn't work very well, burgers still too dry, second time I melted the butter and skimmed the solids off to make ghee then warmed spices it, left it to cool a bit and mixed it in with the mince, juicy tasty burgers. Burgers need fat, lasagne doesn't, but they bring me 20% fat mince another day and ask me to make a lasagne. I should have whacked them over the head with it and said this is burger mince you fool but they wanted lasagne, I mopped a load of oil up but they still commented that it was greasy, the cheek of the week.

Edited by FartyBumBumGuff

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On 7/3/2022 at 3:14 AM, cowhorseman said:

so what kind of hotdogs do you like

I dont like hotdogs, I prefer hamburgers but thanks for asking

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10 hours ago, RandomAPBplayer said:

I dont like hotdogs, I prefer hamburgers but thanks for asking

ok what kind of burger do you like

i like ones with bacon onions cheese and bbq sauce on them. with eggs

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You know those burger vans that are basically just a tiny kitchen in a trailer at the side of a road or edge of industrial estate. They often do breakfast stuff like bacon, sausage, fried eggs as well as burgers. The best thing they can make is never on the menu, you'll have to ask them to make you a bacon, cheese and fried onion barm, roll or butty. They might look confused at first, then you have to tell them to make you a bacon barm for £1.50 with two extras from the burger menu at 30p each. I always tell them to try it and add the cheese and fried onions to the boring breakfast menu that is just bacon, sausage, egg and every combination of the three.

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