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Posted (edited)
24 minutes ago, cowhorseman said:

i think you got hit in the head as a kid with a frying pan.

 

wait you did. yea that was me i was the one who hit you with a frying pan, but it was for your own good. you would never understand the truth of your family even if i explained it in full detail theres to much for you to need to know to understand why i did what i did and i understand you have the right to be angry for what i did, but understand it was for the best not for myself or humainty none of that BS but for you and you alone becuase if you were left unchecked and unwacked you would have leaped forward the death of millions if not trillions

Frying pans are nothing, my bicycle hit me in the head with a gatepost, my whole head is solid bone, been hit in the head many times, I've never been knocked out but I had a headache for 2 weeks once and could feel my scalp move over my skull when I moved my eyes

Edited by FartyBumBumGuff

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1 hour ago, FartyBumBumGuff said:

Frying pans are nothing, my bicycle hit me in the head with a gatepost, my whole head is solid bone, been hit in the head many times, I've never been knocked out but I had a headache for 2 weeks once and could feel my scalp move over my skull when I moved my eyes

yea i forgot to mention your part of project mancrabbug

 

dont get into the details but your the closest things to an immortal lizard person

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1 hour ago, FartyBumBumGuff said:

Cousin LeakyBumBumGuff will soon be making an appearance. I haven't finished making him pretty yet

and so shall my sister bullcalfwoman

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Cousin leaky has arrived, he's fucking hideous. Just like that Edward Shrewdon dirge of a song, he's fugly it's true, when I saw his face, twisted features all over the place, I vomited on my shoe. I have my own steam account and APB character now, rank 15 LeakyBumBumGuff. Did some synchronised dancing with Farty in the social district to celebrate.

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Posted (edited)

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Going to start designing new cop character soon, calling him AgentFlabbyTits, maybe, Name should be 15 letters long

Edited by FartyBumBumGuff

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Posted (edited)

Dangerous flying bastards by Wulla Balloo.

I'd just had a piss, took a step back and a huge hornet landed in the bog. If it had dropped a second earlier it would have landed on my head. I didn't flush it, enjoyed watching the bugger thrash about in me piss, then had another piss on it later while berating it's choice of resting place before flushing the bugger. I had never seen one so big, the usual hornets around here are not much bigger than a wasp but this thing was twice the size of anything I'd ever seen before. I'm sure it wasn't native, it was way too big, filled the bowl like a black and yellow turd. My friend had just come back from Sri Lanka, maybe it was a stowaway.

Edited by FartyBumBumGuff

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i want to strap a cannon to the top of my car so i can fire cannon balls at players

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9 hours ago, cowhorseman said:

i want to strap a cannon to the top of my car so i can fire cannon balls at players

Never get out of the car 

 

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crazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gifcrazy-eyes-kid.gif

 

                                                                                                                                    beans

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Cheesy beans with gravy and a pork pie on top.

Also the thong warrior returns. Crazy australians call fleep de flops thongs, turns out they make a great weapon. Could we get one in APB to use, it flies like brick but straight and true and can also be used CQC style to deliver an incapacitating slap around the mush.

 

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5 hours ago, LilyRain said:

Buff MattScott

he's fast hes strong and he does not die. what do you want? him to jump good?

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14 hours ago, cowhorseman said:

he's fast hes strong and he does not die. what do you want? him to jump good?

Maybe give him the power to melt?

 

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1 hour ago, FartyBumBumGuff said:

Maybe give him the power to melt?

 

was thinking more of this one

 

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20 hours ago, cowhorseman said:

he's fast hes strong and he does not die. what do you want? him to jump good?

Yes and to see him OSMAW from his exclusive Dev-Helicopter

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4 hours ago, RandomAPBplayer said:

hmm

so what kind of hotdogs do you like

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Posted (edited)
7 hours ago, RandomAPBplayer said:

hmm

 

3 hours ago, cowhorseman said:

so what kind of hotdogs do you like

And would you like beans and gravy or curry sauce with or without cheese with your hot dog?

Edited by FartyBumBumGuff

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2 hours ago, FartyBumBumGuff said:

 

And would you like beans and gravy or curry sauce with or without cheese with your hot dog?

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Posted (edited)

Langoustine man?

I am a meat magician, I made juicy burgers with 5% fat mince. First time I tried grated chilled butter, didn't work very well, burgers still too dry, second time I melted the butter and skimmed the solids off to make ghee then warmed spices it, left it to cool a bit and mixed it in with the mince, juicy tasty burgers. Burgers need fat, lasagne doesn't, but they bring me 20% fat mince another day and ask me to make a lasagne. I should have whacked them over the head with it and said this is burger mince you fool but they wanted lasagne, I mopped a load of oil up but they still commented that it was greasy, the cheek of the week.

Edited by FartyBumBumGuff

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On 7/3/2022 at 3:14 AM, cowhorseman said:

so what kind of hotdogs do you like

I dont like hotdogs, I prefer hamburgers but thanks for asking

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