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Article about "Toxic People"


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#1
PBob

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Since there are numerous topics about toxicity in APB, I'd like to share a column with you which I recently read - written by Annie Reneau:

 

 

Toxic people are master manipulators. They may be charming and endearing one moment and downright cruel another. They may be Dr. Jekyll out in public and Mr. Hyde in private. They are the people whose acquaintances have a hard time believing they’d ever hurt a fly because they have no idea the behaviors they display behind closed doors. Toxic people often suffer from undiagnosed personality disorders (which are rarely diagnosed because they don’t recognize that there is a problem).
 
Unfortunately, toxic people tend to prey on the tender-hearted. They hone in on those of us who want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, who believe in second or third chances, who feel like anyone can be changed if we love them enough. It’s a cruel irony that the kindest people often take the longest to realize that they are being taken for an emotional and psychological ride.
 
If you think you may have a toxic person in your life, here are some signs to look for:
– They ask for and take much more than they give in your relationship.
 
– They are self-centered, only seeming to be interested in others when it serves some selfish purpose.
 
– They always need to be right, no matter how large or small the topic.
 
– They act differently around others than they do when you are alone together.
 
– They seem to switch on a dime — one moment they are delightful, and the next they are excessively angry or cold for no apparent reason.
 
– They turn other people in your life against one another, or try to convince you that others are untrustworthy.
 
– They lie about small and big things, regularly and without acknowledging it. They may mislead people or purposefully withhold information to hide their personality flaws.
 
– They are never at fault and are always the victim.
 
 
 
Since sometimes it can be harder to see the signs in others (especially for those of us who want to see only the good and overlook red flags), here are some signs to look for in yourself:
 
– You constantly feel like you need to save or fix the person.
 
– You find yourself making excuses for their behavior.
 
– You feel drained after spending time with them.
 
– You never know how they’re going to respond to things, so you always feel a little on edge when you’re around them.
 
– You find yourself trying to avoid situations or topics of conversation that might upset them.
 
– You’ve had repeated occasions where you felt like you didn’t recognize the person.
 
– You feel guilty when they are upset, even though you can’t figure out what you did wrong.
 
– You never know whether or not they are telling the truth.
 
 
Toxic people can do a number on your head — and your heart. Unfortunately, some people truly need to be let go in order for you to stay sane and healthy. You do not have to stay in a relationship with a person who is manipulative, selfish, and either subtly or overtly abusive. It’s incredibly sad to realize that a loved one is a poisonous presence, but it’s also necessary.
 
It can take time to determine if a person really should be cut out of your life, but if any of this sounds familiar, give it some thought. Some relationships are challenging, and that’s okay. Some personalities clash, and that’s okay. But if a relationship is hurting you and affecting your well-being, that’s not okay.
 
Not everyone can be saved with love and kindness, and it’s not your job to change someone. Even if it’s a close family member, it’s okay to end a toxic relationship without guilt. It’s not easy, but it might be the healthiest decision you ever make.
 
 
-----------------------------------
 
If you read it all, you can go to kitchen and grab a potato :)


#2
Bambola

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It's interesting to see someone took so studious approach to 'toxicity' which makes it an interesting read with even more interesting conclusion on my side - according to these signs, everyone is more or less toxic. All in all, interesting! 


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#3
Ohshii

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#4
▒▒▒

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Hey cool I'm toxic

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#5
NotZombieBiscuit

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I wanna be in bed thanks.



#6
Intake

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Is the category just really broad, or am I just toxic?

 

Shieeeeeeeeeet



#7
Kewlin

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This is talking about an entirely different kind of toxicity, just sayin'.


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I just want to help anyone who calls APB home.


#8
SixxstagesofMajik

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Relation to games >> vs topic here


Edited by SixxstagesofMajik, 03 March 2017 - 05:13 PM.

Majikal PC Tweaks
How bad i get serious, can talk about Trump gosh darn the politics with the Syrians
You wanna ban immigrants? Start with your wife
You wanna end wih some bullshoot? Start with your life
 

#9
Fenton

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This is a better way of putting it.

 

Also, time to wheel out the Ghandi quote again.

 

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Sixx' also presents an interesting graphic;

 

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Relation to games >> vs topic here

 

 If I understand the data correctly, the whining in team, group and district chat is annoying but doesn't really help. Whereas using blue text in team and clan to provide positive tips and advice can lead to better play.

 

I wonder how that applies when concerning voice comms?



#10
SixxstagesofMajik

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Sixx' also presents an interesting graphic;

 

 

 If I understand the data correctly, the whining in team, group and district chat is annoying but doesn't really help. Whereas using blue text in team and clan to provide positive tips and advice can lead to better play.

 

I wonder how that applies when concerning voice comms?

Nothing to do with chat text colours but more so actual level design/characters/loading screens ect and how certain colours stick out and effect the mind comes down to Colour Psychology how colours effect our behaviors and mood if not heard of it is a good read/study , I read up on it years back when helping with card designs for a game.

examples

Spoiler


Majikal PC Tweaks
How bad i get serious, can talk about Trump gosh darn the politics with the Syrians
You wanna ban immigrants? Start with your wife
You wanna end wih some bullshoot? Start with your life
 

#11
AlexandraTromp

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Seems to me that every politician talks like they are above the line while being on the bottom of it. :P


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#12
Reyku

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This basically just describes narcissists.

I've met a couple of people like this, I've gone from feeling pity to just irritation when I see the signs now lol.

With that said, as far as games go, many toxic people can range from this... advanced level, to just being idiots. Self-centered idiots who allow their emotions to dictate their actions, but idiots. I imagine they could barely manipulate a frigging sandwich into their mouth.


Nope.

#13
master shake

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i dont get it i got called toxic for smashing and mommy talking the actual toxic people

and getting salty occasionally because i died in asylum

 

id say its a case by case basis honestly but who even cares lol


Edited by master shake, 04 March 2017 - 11:56 AM.


#14
アリア

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can I be toxic while using a certain weapon?


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あなたが私に直面するようになると、あなたは私が他の誰も好きではないことを認識しなければならない。私はあなたの存在を妨げず、私は間違いなくあなたに印象づけていない。なぜなら、あなたがそれを認めたくないのに、私があなたを倒し、深く落としてしまった理由を知っているからです。あなたは、私が選んだ誰にも負うことのできない苦痛と屈辱を知っています。それはまさにあなたが失うことを恐れて私に泣いている理由です。

 


#15
Mitne

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can I be toxic while using a certain weapon?

Yes. True Ogre + Yukon combo.


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Mitne


#16
:^)

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#17
JudgeAnderson

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Cool story bro. Got screen shots?

#18
CookyPuss

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Sometimes I play with all chat turned off and pretend everyone else is just AI.

.... it's quite peaceful.



#19
Kitty Yekaterina

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Unfortunately, toxic people tend to prey on the tender-hearted. They hone in on those of us who want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, who believe in second or third chances, who feel like anyone can be changed if we love them enough. It’s a cruel irony that the kindest people often take the longest to realize that they are being taken for an emotional and psychological ride.

 

This is best topic in last 4 years on this forum. +1 for all upper said, i have been through it, i tasted it and i saw how far toxic cancer is willing to go. 

Sadly i recognized myself in quoted sentence of yours with ease, and even though i payed my price being victim of toxicity, i learned my lesson.

I confirm all upper to be utterly correct, and all i can say, well written, well said, well meant.  Keep up with  good topics OP.   :notworthy:


Being online doesn't mean you're suddenly not responsible for who you are. Embarrassing, threatening, harassing, attacking and insulting - based on gender, race, nationality or simple difference of opinion? ...This shows who you are as a person, sitting behind the monitor. You think nobody will care? Think again.

The age of Cancer is over. The dawn of Justice has come.

 


#20
Doufous

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I dont like people.

#21
PBob

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I dont like people.

 

*hugs* 



#22
AsgerLund

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*hugs* 

That combination of forum avatar and forum behaviour...

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Edited by AsgerLund, 07 March 2017 - 02:45 AM.

> Part-time perc'er <> Permanent casual <> Fresno detonator <

 AsgerLund - Citadel <> Clan lumberjack - Midgard Inc.


#23
PBob

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That combination of forum avatar and forum behaviour...

 

 

give love a chance! 



#24
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Relation to games >> vs topic here

'Riot Games'

 

Yeah already a mommy study. Sorry, but everything Riot Games does as a company is completely bias in a SJW sense. They want a 'perfect gaming environment' where you HAVE to be nice to everyone, no matter how mommy they are at the game, and how they act. 

Riot gonna start banning people for simple words sooner or later.

 

 

To be quite honest, when looking at toxic people in a video game you have to look at it differently. From a quick skim of the article it seems like it's more tailored towards friendships and relationships. It seems to have everything right. I've been in a situation like that and I can say the article seems to be quite accurate. With video games though I don't understand this 'toxicity effects my gameplay and how I feel' mentality. Typically toxic people DO try to play to win, and if they don't they're not just 'toxic' but also trolls. So if someone is toxic to you in say, global chat. Just mute them and ignore them. Hey wow problem solved, congrats, you never have to worry about 'toxicity' ever again. Someone toxic on your team? Wow hey just mute them there too, mommy, problem solved again. If they shoot you and kill you or don't do the mission, oh well, too bad. You probably do 20+ missions a day because this game is addicting. Don't let words or actions on a video game ruin your experience or how you feel in real life. It shouldn't bother you especially on a game like apb where according to the same people who complain about toxicity say its just 'casual' and you shouldn't cry about losing. Either mute and move on or let the mission end and move on. You can even report if you feel so inclined. But crying like a baby about some 'toxic bully' on a video game is giving the person who is being 'toxic' exactly what they want. Attention and someone to take their feelings out on.



#25
Rebelliousness

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APB is a game where the pedestrians get in your face and even use profanities to provoke you into killing them... and you are crying about toxic?  The game is about KILLING your enemy, and gives you the freedom to KILL your own team mates...

WTH do you expect?



Shooting people is fun. Talking crap after the mission is fun.  It's the original design of the game, don't turn it into Hello Kitty!~


Edited by Rebelliousness, 14 March 2017 - 03:23 PM.

"And today class we'll be talking about cheating in MMO games. Everyone please turn the page to Chapter JaJaJa." -Contacts <Jericho>



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