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Why Fallen Earth players and Clans shouldn't play Golf.


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#1
The Concept

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Why the Fallen Earth community shouldn't play Golf

Nysek: Would play the game long enough to build a guide to it then proceed to arguing with random people on ESPN's forum block. 'In-game' he would focus on throwing bandages at random players and First Aid kits at those somehow severely injured while swinging occasionally at random golf balls in the playing field. Would also push the Dev's to fix healing after he realized his team wasn't receiving his heals properly.

Doctor Feelgood: Would be too busy feeling people up and causing a riot while he did. Would also be an awful doctor when the time came to help out the players injured by golf clubs.

Kit Southworth: Would be hacking away at the ball, screaming Irish curses at it in sign language after failing to hit it after 99 tries. She would then PM Shiu, Nysek and Inane for help. After finally hitting the sucker, she would then climb up on the nearest crafting table and dance the pulp-fiction with Maddie and Ayumi, because she likes the way it makes her @$$ looks in a skirt...

Shiu: Would learn the game then try to teach Kit.

Chrispy Cream: Would be challenging other players to PvP combat with his golf club.

Poker[Clan]: Would accuse the golf ball of hacking after failing to hit it with the golf club that is being held upside down. Then would attempt to fight Heretic with their golf clubs[Success unknown].

Heretic[Clan]: Figure out the mechanics of Golf then proceed to 'PvP' with fellow golf members[lots of golf clubs being swung]. In 'combat' would throw bandages at each other across the field as their members got injured while they fought.

Condemned[Clan]: Would stalk Heretic around the golfing area clubbing them with their golf clubs. If they lost would seek out the nearest gym in an attempt to raise 'Power'.

Crouching Tiger[Clan]: Would be crouching through the forestry[Chanting Eye of the Tiger] throwing their golf clubs and golf balls at random players in the zone. Then proceed to assist Condemned in assaulting players in the "PvP" zones.

Aroa Croft: Would be harassing Nysek then complaining when Heretic stepped in to fight. Would also have trouble communicating to other players with broken english.

DakkaDakkaDakka: Would be clubbing people at random while chanting "Down with freedom of speech".

Inane: Would be trying to figure out why his precision isn't working on the golf ball and where he could get a respec injector.

GM's: Would be far too busy reminding new players of how to hold their golf clubs to worry about the PvP clans running around chaotically assaulting random players 'In-game' with their clubs. Then proceed to ignore the bugs in golf.

PvPers: In general would be concerned with where they could get larger clubs and armor greater than a sweater vest. Then proceed towards the nearest hardware store so they could 'Augment' their weapons with sharp objects and wires to improve penetration chances. Also would purchase shoes that would give them the highest Dodge to resist criticals.

The Concept: Would be selling the best gear available to the PvPers while he bought all the local gear merchants out for a monopoly.

PvEers: Would be searching for scavenging nodes then wonder why swiping their hands at a rock fails to obtain resources. Would also be trying to scavenge the local area nearby so they could craft better gear.

Citadel campers: Would be gathered around the workshop and maintenance building wondering why there were golf clubs hitting them in the back of the skull when they had placed bunkers made out of local resources to protect them.

Derek Blue: Would be running around among the PvPers telling everyone to Queue up for baseball while insulting them. Then find himself wondering why he has so many golf clubs wedged inside his rib cage.

Docter Fealgood: Would be pondering why nobody has attempted to use the golf carts and why there's so much blood and bent golf clubs lying around.

Flame Nebula: Would be busy trying to understand what all is happening while she helped others.

Maderp: Would be throwing bandages at Chrispy Cream and wondering why he wasn't healing.

So the moral of the story is: None of you should EVER play golf. We don't need to be the 1st in history to create a riot at a golfing center.

Add-ons and suggestions? Throw them in! Also these general statements are all based off of stereotypical views so take it lightly.

Edited by The Concept, 19 August 2014 - 07:46 PM.

" Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." - Napoleon Bonaparte.
" If history has taught us anything letting me negotiate is a bad idea. There will be nobody left to negotiate with." - Chuck Norris
" Even our enemies have Dreams... Ours are just more important." - Joseph Stalin

#2
AgentNoir

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After I realized precision wasn't precise at all I got rid of it geeze!

This golf sounds fun where do I buy popcorn and how much are tickets?

Edited by AgentNoir, 05 August 2014 - 01:10 AM.

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#3
The Concept

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After I realized precision wasn't precise at all I got rid of it geeze!

This golf sounds fun where do I buy popcorn and how much are tickets?

Reaps is in charge of ticket sales and he's busy on ESPN's forum block. An that's exactly why you need the respec D: Dat useless precision in golf.
" Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." - Napoleon Bonaparte.
" If history has taught us anything letting me negotiate is a bad idea. There will be nobody left to negotiate with." - Chuck Norris
" Even our enemies have Dreams... Ours are just more important." - Joseph Stalin

#4
Shiu

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Golf rules are over rated

#5
LilRedhare

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Kit would actually be hacking away at the ball, screaming Irish curses at it in sign language after failing to hit it after 99 tries. She would then PM Shiu, Nysek and Inane for help. After finally hitting the sucker, she would then climb up on the nearest crafting table and dance the pulpfiction with Maddie and Ayumi, because she likes the way it makes her @$$ looks in a skirt...

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Kit Southworth, Kitness Everdeen, Ophanim-Dying Light


#6
The Concept

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Kit would actually be hacking away at the ball, screaming Irish curses at it in sign language after failing to hit it after 99 tries. She would then PM Shiu, Nysek and Inane for help. After finally hitting the sucker, she would then climb up on the nearest crafting table and dance the pulpfiction with Maddie and Ayumi, because she likes the way it makes her @$$ looks in a skirt...

Fixed. But golf centers don't have crafting benches xD

Edited by The Concept, 05 August 2014 - 12:48 PM.

" Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." - Napoleon Bonaparte.
" If history has taught us anything letting me negotiate is a bad idea. There will be nobody left to negotiate with." - Chuck Norris
" Even our enemies have Dreams... Ours are just more important." - Joseph Stalin

#7
Reaps989

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Reaps is in charge of ticket sales and he's busy on ESPN's forum block. An that's exactly why you need the respec D: Dat useless precision in golf.


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